Learning to pray (alone or in a group)
The Most High God is also the most near God. In fact, He dwells among and within His worshipers. He inhabits our prayers and praises and loves to receive our heartfelt praise and wholehearted prayer.
However, sincere and earnest prayer is a difficult and often elusive spiritual exercise for new and experienced followers of Jesus alike.
What makes prayer so difficult? How can we learn to pray alone and in groups in healthy ways?
Before we examine these questions, let’s lay a foundation of understanding with some passages from the Bible.
God who hears and answers prayer
Therefore let everyone who is godly
offer prayer to you at a time when you may be found;
surely in the rush of great waters,
they shall not reach him. (Psalm 32:6)
O you who hear prayer,
to you shall all flesh come. (Psalm 65:2)
But as for me, my prayer is to you, O LORD.
At an acceptable time, O God,
in the abundance of your steadfast love answer me in your saving faithfulness. (Psalm 69:13)
I sought the LORD, and he answered me
and delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to him are radiant,
and their faces shall never be ashamed.
This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him
and saved him out of all his troubles.
… The eyes of the LORD are toward the righteous
and his ears toward their cry.
… When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears
and delivers them out of all their troubles. (Psalm 34:4–6, 15, 17)
God who loves and deserves our thanksgiving
Offer to God a sacrifice of thanksgiving,
and perform your vows to the Most High,
and call upon me in the day of trouble;
I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me.”
…The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me;
to one who orders his way rightly
I will show the salvation of God!” (Psalm 50:14-15, 23)
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)
God who deserves and responds to our prayers of confession and repentance
Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your steadfast love;
according to your abundant mercy
blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
and cleanse me from my sin!
For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is ever before me.
Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you may be justified in your words
and blameless in your judgment.
Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
and in sin did my mother conceive me.
Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being,
and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.
Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
… The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. (Psalm 51:1-7, 17)
I prayed to the LORD my God and made confession, saying, “O Lord, the great and awesome God, who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, we have sinned and done wrong and acted wickedly and rebelled, turning aside from your commandments and rules. (Daniel 9:4-5)
God who responds to sincere and humble prayers for help
“But will God indeed dwell on the earth? Behold, heaven and the highest heaven cannot contain you; how much less this house that I have built! Yet have regard to the prayer of your servant and to his plea, O LORD my God, listening to the cry and to the prayer that your servant prays before you this day, that your eyes may be open night and day toward this house, the place of which you have said, ‘My name shall be there,’ that you may listen to the prayer that your servant offers toward this place. And listen to the plea of your servant and of your people Israel, when they pray toward this place. And listen in heaven your dwelling place, and when you hear, forgive.
“If a man sins against his neighbor and is made to take an oath and comes and swears his oath before your altar in this house, then hear in heaven and act and judge your servants, condemning the guilty by bringing his conduct on his own head, and vindicating the righteous by rewarding him according to his righteousness.
“When your people Israel are defeated before the enemy because they have sinned against you, and if they turn again to you and acknowledge your name and pray and plead with you in this house, then hear in heaven and forgive the sin of your people Israel and bring them again to the land that you gave to their fathers.
“When heaven is shut up and there is no rain because they have sinned against you, if they pray toward this place and acknowledge your name and turn from their sin, when you afflict them, then hear in heaven and forgive the sin of your servants, your people Israel, when you teach them the good way in which they should walk, and grant rain upon your land, which you have given to your people as an inheritance.
“If there is famine in the land, if there is pestilence or blight or mildew or locust or caterpillar, if their enemy besieges them in the land at their gates, whatever plague, whatever sickness there is, whatever prayer, whatever plea is made by any man or by all your people Israel, each knowing the affliction of his own heart and stretching out his hands toward this house, then hear in heaven your dwelling place and forgive and act and render to each whose heart you know, according to all his ways (for you, you only, know the hearts of all the children of mankind), that they may fear you all the days that they live in the land that you gave to our fathers.
“Likewise, when a foreigner, who is not of your people Israel, comes from a far country for your name’s sake (for they shall hear of your great name and your mighty hand, and of your outstretched arm), when he comes and prays toward this house, hear in heaven your dwelling place and do according to all for which the foreigner calls to you, in order that all the peoples of the earth may know your name and fear you, as do your people Israel, and that they may know that this house that I have built is called by your name.
“If your people go out to battle against their enemy, by whatever way you shall send them, and they pray to the LORD toward the city that you have chosen and the house that I have built for your name, then hear in heaven their prayer and their plea, and maintain their cause.
“If they sin against you—for there is no one who does not sin—and you are angry with them and give them to an enemy, so that they are carried away captive to the land of the enemy, far off or near, yet if they turn their heart in the land to which they have been carried captive, and repent and plead with you in the land of their captors, saying, ‘We have sinned and have acted perversely and wickedly,’ if they repent with all their heart and with all their soul in the land of their enemies, who carried them captive, and pray to you toward their land, which you gave to their fathers, the city that you have chosen, and the house that I have built for your name, then hear in heaven your dwelling place their prayer and their plea, and maintain their cause and forgive your people who have sinned against you, and all their transgressions that they have committed against you, and grant them compassion in the sight of those who carried them captive, that they may have compassion on them (for they are your people, and your heritage, which you brought out of Egypt, from the midst of the iron furnace). Let your eyes be open to the plea of your servant and to the plea of your people Israel, giving ear to them whenever they call to you. For you separated them from among all the peoples of the earth to be your heritage, as you declared through Moses your servant, when you brought our fathers out of Egypt, O Lord GOD.” (1 Kings 8:27–53)
Then the LORD appeared to Solomon in the night and said to him: “I have heard your prayer and have chosen this place for myself as a house of sacrifice. When I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or command the locust to devour the land, or send pestilence among my people, if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land. Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayer that is made in this place. (2 Chronicles 7:12-15)
“And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.
“And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. Pray then like this:
“Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. (Matthew 6:5-13)
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:4-7)
If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. (John 15:7)
Learning to pray
From these and many other similar passages in the Bible, it is clear that God is a listening God who responds to certain kinds of prayers and not to other kinds of prayers.
I want God to respond to my prayers! Don’t you?
Human communication gives us clues to Godly communication, because human beings are made in the image of God.
Humans respond positively to other humans who are thankful, humble, sincere, earnest, and honest. So does God.
Humans do not respond positively to other humans who are presumptuous, proud, deceitful, fake, and duplicitous. So it is with God.
Let us use these lessons which we learn from human communication teach us to communicate with God. However, let us remember that God is all-powerful, perfectly holy, perfectly good, and perfectly capable of doing all that we ask Him and more.
We can relate to and communicate with Him as our closest Friend, as our beloved Father, as our perfect Provider, as our Safe Place, as our Majestic King, as the Almighty Ruler of the universe, as our Redeemer, as our Forgiver, and as our Savior from every hardship.
These are overwhelming realities about communicating with God, but do not let them deter you from starting to communicate with Him in prayer!
Start simply, like this:
Thank you!
Sorry.
Please?
Remember the acronym TSP (teaspoon): Thank you, Sorry, Please
From the Bible passages above, it is clear that God deserves and responds to prayers of thanksgiving, prayers of confession and repentance, and prayers of specific requests or supplications.
This simple method can be used for individual prayers as well as prayers in groups.
What makes prayer so difficult?
Some suggestions:
We don’t believe in the power of prayer because we haven’t experienced it
Others around us don’t believe in the power of prayer and have convinced us not to believe
We feel that God is far away
We have grown impatient and struggle to wait for Him to answer us
The immediate needs and cares of our lives seem more important than prayer
The suffering and persecution we experience have convinced us that God is not real or near to us
We have not been taught to pray
We have not experienced prayer in community with other prayerful followers of Jesus
We have kept pride, hypocrisy, selfishness, or other sins in our hearts which have caused God not to listen to our prayers
Others?
Closing prayer for help
Most high God of the universe, help us to pray as Jesus taught us to pray. Protect and deliver us from pride, hypocrisy, and other barriers to prayer. Remove unbelief, impatience, and other prayer-killers from our hearts.
Show us your power as we pray to you at a time when you may be found. We are desperate for you, and we devote ourselves to you now with our whole hearts. Amen.
Questions for discussion
What barriers to prayer exist in your life?
How can you start praying individually and with other followers of Jesus?
How often would you like to pray?
What will it take for God to hear and respond to your prayers?
What benefits do you expect to see when you pray?
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And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him. (1 John 5:14-15)